Howling at the Shadows

I’ve been staring at my outline for about two weeks now. The first couple of chapters have been roughly detailed, but past there I’m not sure how I want to continue. And it’s not that I don’t have an idea of where I want the story to go – I have a beginning, a middle, and an end already plotted. It’s all the fiddly bits in between that I’m unsure of.

I never used to outline my writing. I let it take me where it wanted to go. In the past this has worked quite well, but too often it can lead to unassailable blocks. You can’t write very easily if you don’t even know what the story is trying to tell you. Too many projects have been left behind in the dust due to poor planning.

And yet, there is something to be said for letting the natural flow of a story surprise you. I don’t think there is a writer out there who has not been taken off guard by an aspect of their own plot line (or character) that they didn’t plan. It just shows up sometimes. The subconscious slips the connections in there while you’re too busy stressing over a single section of dialogue. These organic developments, like thieves in the night, tend to creep in and seed the story with bits and pieces that the writer will suddenly connect down the road with a cry of “Eureka!”

One of the most satisfying parts of writing is impressing ourselves with our own genius, is it not?

But – in order to get to that point – we often have to power through some very tough and lean times. Daniel Swensen calls it “Writing through the Wolf’s Hour.” According to his very practical post on setting goals and charging through them, we writers have been fed a lie through media and through the glorified legends of our idol writers that we have to chug out perfection on the first draft.

Speaking from experience, there is no faster way to doom yourself to failure than to allow yourself to believe that anything short of perfection is not worth pursuing.

We should always strive for the best creation we can possibly put together. Editing, proofing, proper formatting, and draft after draft after painful draft will always lead to a better experience for both the writer and the reader. But to expect that you can create something that will rise above all those behind-the-scenes hours the first time around not only discredits the work of editors and beta readers, but also snivels the joy right out of the writing process. Of course you’re going to get blocked if you paralyze yourself into interrogating each word and phrase before you give yourself the chance to write them.  

“Either give yourself permission to suck and finish what you started, or expect perfection the first time around and invite crushing failure.”

Imagine if a doctor held up a just-delivered baby, still squirming and screaming, and asked, “Well? What’s next? What are you going to do with yourself now? Prove your worth!”

Don’t you think someone in the room might be a touch cross? They might say, “It’s a bit early for that, doctor. He can’t even roll over yet. He has a lot of growing to do.”

Just so with your story: don’t expect perfection of it when it’s just started, still squirming and screaming and messy. The only way to let it grow is to be patient and work with it over time.

There are lots of little demons along the way that will try to get you to scare yourself into giving up before the story has a chance to be finished. Mine personally are already questioning why I haven’t made any progress on my outline in two weeks. There are lots of reasons: busyness, too many projects, a new computer, a death in the family, sheer exhaustion. I basically need a vacation.

But I think one of the bigger reasons is that I need to step back from the outline and stop trying to grasp the big picture all at once. After all, I’m a writer. What I need to do is pick up where my last section left off and just start writing. Maybe I’ll get to the end of those first two planned chapters with a better idea of where to go. And then I can outline a little bit more, write a bit more, outline, write, outline, etc. Until the story is (*gasp*) finished.

“The Plot Police aren’t going to show up to your house and start marking down your mistakes in the Book of Life.”

We’re allowed to screw up. We’re allowed to make bad plot choices. We’re allowed to be vague when we describe our characters.

That’s called the writing process (you know – that thing we’re supposed to enjoy as writers?). After all, no journey is without its imperfections. That’s usually what makes the adventure so exciting! And if you find yourself getting bogged down in the never-ending tally of things you need to go back and fix, just remember – that’s part of the process too.

So when those little demons start growling over your shoulder about all the things you’ve done wrong, masquerading as your muses when they’re really just perfectionism pretending to be useful, snarl right back at the shadows and keep going. It’s not going to kill you to leave something for later. Instead, try to look forward to your second draft. That’s when you can allow yourself to be picky. That’s when the real crafting begins.