I’ve been waiting a long time to write this particular blog
post. Several topics of conversation this week have made it particularly apt. And
since I am beginning to ‘recover’ from the revisions of my last story and am turning
once again to my newest project, I need to hear these words more than ever.
There’s a popular joke about how we artists perpetually hate
our work. Part of this is healthy – it drives us always to improve, to try new
things, to be inspired by what other people are doing. But let’s be honest:
most of it is simply self-loathing and perfectionism wrapped up in a cute, kitschy
little bundle that we can all pretend to laugh at while secretly wishing it
weren’t true.
Some people make art only for themselves. It’s a personal
journey and something that they enjoy in the privacy of their own lives and
never more than that. The rest of us make art for other people. Whether we’re
looking for approval among other artists, or attempting to inspire or entertain
someone – we’re agonizing through the act of creating so that ‘the masses’ can
be changed by what we have brought into the world.
One problem is that we can become too obsessed with what ‘the
masses’ think, and we link our success, our value, to the number of individuals
who get to see our work. Why else would we pursue large publication houses? Why
else would an artist try to get their work placed in a high-profile gallery?
Why else would a director brave the waters of the big-film industry?
Because we want to be seen by as many people as possible. Don’t
get me wrong, these goals are wonderful! Trying to get your art out there to be
enjoyed it is a great thing to do. But it shouldn’t be the basis on which your
worth is decided. And it shouldn’t be the whip that you flog yourself with in
order to keep working harder and harder.
A wise friend (and fellow writer) told me this week about
the idea of being gracious to ourselves. A very common urge among writers is to
be hyper critical of the work we produce and, in turn, of our own personage.
After all, the editors and publishers will be no less harsh, so we have to
toughen up and make sure we catch all the things they will hate before we send it to them. Right?
Well…kind of. Think of it as if you were giving advice to a
friend. If your writing partner brought you a piece of work and asked for your
opinion, would you say half of the things that you say to yourself when you are
critiquing your own work? I’m sure the answer to that is no. And why is that?
Because we love them and we want to be honest without being cruel.
Why are we so content with being cruel to ourselves? Do the
words hurt any less when we are speaking them as opposed to someone else? No, they
don’t. We can pretend that it’s different, but it really isn’t. And if you
insist on looking at this logically, there is no better way to destroy your own
confidence and productivity than by continually beating yourself down.
There is an absolutely beautiful article by John C. Wright
on writing “Your Book of Gold” that I hope all writers one day have the chance
to read. He discusses how we should not write for the masses, who will 90% of
the time absorb our works one day and forget about them the next, but rather
how we should write for that one person in the world for whom our work is a
lifeline. Even if a very tiny portion of the world’s population ever sees what you
do, there will be someone out there who values your work above all others.
So don’t hold on to the work until you hate it. Don’t stare
at it day after day until you can no longer see the truth. Whether this happens
before you start writing, in the midst of writing, or in the editing phase, be
gracious to yourself. And remember:
“This book will be someone’s absolutely favorite book of all
time, and it will come to him on some dark day and give him sunlight, and open
his eyes and fill his heart and make him see things in life even you never
suspected, and will be his most precious tale, and it will live in his heart
like the Book of Gold.”
-John C. Wright
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